Prudence...

...trying to drag me across the room by my ear. I love this dog more than anyone in my whole entire family tree. She has catchers mitts for paws.

Bulldog puppy

Turns out we bought a baby gorilla, whose jaws are locked onto my ankle as I type this. How can a ten pound 9 week old puppy be pulling me off the couch? This may have been a mistake.

My Pie

my pie my pie
my fuckin pie
i inhaled a pecan and started to choke
i cook like a broad
it was delishious
Ill mash my face in it and start to cry
my pie my pie
my fuckin pie

My Famous Pecan Pie

I made my famous pecan pie this morning. It's made from a secret old family recipe, just like Nana's secret fudge recipe. Im sure it's of Micmac origin, and it's pronounced pee can, not pee caahhn. Unless you're Thurston Howell the third.

Pecan Pie

AN EGG!

My last, lonely, chicken finally laid an egg. It's been months. Every day I've been asking her "where are my eggs". Tonight when I went out to bring her dinner I found a lone egg in the corner. It totally made my day. I could see that my happiness was making her happy. We both basked in this glory for a moment, then I closed her up for the night. Walking back to the house with the tiny egg in my hand I shed a tear.

whatever

Way to much pressure. Every direction the walls are closing in on The D.O.M. Time is running out fast. No sunlight. No place to hide. Gatling Gun plans are flying off the shelf. Nobody gives me any feedback on them. Who could blame them? Complete gibberish really. Who am I kidding anyway? They're calling for my head in Kuala Lumpor.

Vodka Martini
Trying to learn dueling banjos
kids keep coming down here trying to communicate with The D.O.M.