Ladybug Update

Well, today was a nice warm day, so I decided to let the ladybugs go. I had 51 special little cuties, they spent the winter in a bug habitat that I bought for them. You should have seen them. I went out on the deck, zipped open the door to their temporary home, and let them blow away in the wind. Kind of like when Opie Taylor shot that bird and then nursed it back to health, then touchingly let the bird free. Yes, it was just like that, except all 51 ladybugs were quite dead.

Thursday Morning

No cream in my coffee. Isn't that a Guess Who song. Everyone is sleeping, my favorite time of day. The stupid dog must have heard me, because here she is. "Hi my little love bug", I mean, "Get away from me, swill". Our chinchilla is more of a dog than she is. Anyway, on today's agenda is a drive out to the western part of the state to deliver a painting to a gallery the my wife works with. Yesterday I made up some more frames for her smaller paintings. Mostly I just hid my workshop. It goes like this. OK, I'll be out in my shop, making up those frames for you. Then what really happens is, I go out and turn up the music and play air guitar on a piece of scrap wood for a half an hour. If I get lucky, like yesterday, a block of Jethro Tull songs come on, and I play air flute intertwined with some karate kicks. I did get some work done though. Thanks to the new tools (old and awesome) that a Viking God(Uncle Dick) gave me. Instead of what I was "supposed" to be doing, I started working on building my Luigi some hands. Luigi is the hand less marionette(the only child I really love) that is pictured in a previous post. The scums are up, so I gotta go.

Pool Update

My pool is officially toast. The liner is ripped in a number of places the wall is crumpled and buckled, the deck is even twisted and heaving up in one corner. And , no matter what my wife says, no way is it my fault. Even a hint that its my fault sends me into a violent tantrum. I am not a pool guy! Side note, I'm writing this with a banjo around my neck and not only am I not playing, I don't even know how. So anyway, who said I know anything about pools. Pool is destroyed, now what. Check mate, Vicki.

Cake

How come every time I cut into a piece of chocolate cake, I hear Austin Powers voice in my head saying"Oh, behave"?

Ladybugs

Last fall, my house was invaded by ladybugs. So I rounded them up by the hundreds and put them in a bug habitat to spend the winter in my mudroom. Well, yesterday on my wife's birthday the habitat fell of the shelf and hit her on the head, so she kicked their little world out of the mudroom and onto the deck, where I was standing. I was mortified to say the least. Those little guys are my kin. Anyway, I picked it up and looked inside to see if all was well. I think there was no harm done because they all appeared to be still "sleeping". I think the shriveling up and turning black is a hibernation thing. Once they thaw out, my sweet little friends will live once again. You can be sensitive and manly, that's all I'm saying.

Tattoo

Today was my wife Vicki's birthday so I figured as a gift I would make myself even more manly. I got a tattoo of her name on my calf. After, we went out to dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant, where I single handily ate like a pack of hyenas. I have tommorow off, and if you know the Doctor of Manliness, you know what that means. Morbid boredom. So stay tuned right here to find out if waterboarding myself was a good idea.

Its not easy.....

Now I have to go to the store and get ice cream for these bitches

My Wife

My non-stop playing of the Dick Shawn post(My Alter Ego) has finally pushed my wife over the edge. She just ran upstairs crying. There is something seriously wrong her. How about getting a sense of humor. I will never tire of that video. NEVER! They can all go to hell. Its for her own good anyway,

Easter Dinner

I've just finished polishing off a King Kong Bundy sized piece of cheesecake. I've eaten so much, I think I'm going blind. Very nice dinner over Denise and Kevin's house. A melee almost broke out over the merits of The Golden Girls TV show. My brother while doing his, dead on, Maude imitation, had to be dragged away from the table because no one agreed with his assertion that The Golden Girls was a righteous and manly show. Picture Professor Toru Tanaka yelling at a crowd of people, sounding like Beatrice Arthur. The highlight of the dinner was when, driving away, I noticed my 5 year old twins had made off with my sister's Laurel and Hardy dolls. In your face Denise!

Earl Scruggs Magnets

My wife made me some cool bottlecap magnets.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

This morning, during a driving lesson with Taylor, she told me some shocking and quite frankly very disturbing news. Not only does she not like Freddy Fender, she hates him! My 16 year old stepdaughter hates the Mexican Elvis. The one thing that I have always been afraid of, hearing her say, I hate him and his music,I can see hating him, but both the man and his music. My life seems like a waste now. Wasted days, and wasted nights. I threw up in my mouth when she mistook Waylon Jennings for Kenny Rogers. I guess my life lessons thru country music songs have been falling on deaf ears.

Saturday Morning

I've been out in the workshop making a display stand for my wife's gallery/studio, to display some jewlery she is making. Also I polished the dining room table with WD-40, not sure if that was a good idea. Just finished and on-line banjo lesson from the "MusicMoose". I'm thinking of making a hurdy gurdy, or a giant crossbow.

Vintage Manly Doings, In Very Cool Shades

Thursday

Its more than a simple craving. Sometimes I find myself at the drive thru window and have no idea how I got there. One minute I'm flying down the highway imagining I'm the drummer for The Who, and the next minute I'm at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru with no idea of how I got there or who I ran over in the process. There must be some "force" eminating from the pot and traveling through the air looking for a host. Like a liquid May West that starts seductively calling to me. Actually it might be more like Aquaman when he sends out those thoughtwaves to all his fish friends,whenever he is in trouble. A blonde Aquaman with big breasts who sounds like May West. Sometimes I spend an entire day with just one cup of coffee, taking baby sips throughout the day. Something magical happens to you when you spend an entire day with just you WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT, I GOTTA GO