Friday Night

So, after sitting in traffic in Manchester for an hour, the road finally opens up. As the rain begins I put the pedal to the metal(in our Kia Sportage). I have too pee really badly, but we're also running late. I hadn't realized that the more I had to go, not only the more reckless my driving became, but also the closer I hunched over the steering wheel. I was careening in and out of cars and I was so hunched over that my chin was almost resting on the steering wheel. It was pouring rain and I was squinting because I didn't have my bifocals on. In my mind, its all, "I have to pee,I have to pee, I have to pee". Also I'm thinking that I'm doing nothing unusual until I glance over at Vicki, whose silently crying into her hands. She looks up to me and says, "please pull over and find a bathroom, YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT". Freaking her out? WTF. Anyway, I pull off the exit and find a McDonald's. I open the door to the men's room and, of course, the is an older Chinese gentleman with his head pressed under the faucet waving his hand so as to activate the motion sensor to get the water to come out. Now it's my turn to be freaked out. This was the last thing I needed. I tried to get a stall but there was already a guy in there, and he refused to let me in. There were only two urinals, the room was very small. So, nervously, I picked the one right next to the guy with his own head in the sink. As, I'm going I'm trying not to look at him. In my mind I'm thinking,"he's gonna jump on my back and bury his teeth in my neck and I'm gonna end up peeing all over the both of us(and the coward in the stall just for good measure)". I stood there pretending to pee(no longer at the stall) for quite a while, waiting for the lunatic to finish with the sink. As he was finishing up, he glanced over at me and I gave him a nervous smile, then he turned and ran out the door. I heard the door to the stall open behind me, I turned to look and he gave ME a nervous smile then he quickly shut the door and locked himself in the stall again. So this time I bolted. What a freak show.