Pantalones and The Rooster

Pantalones and The Stranger

I found myself trying to befriend this cat, not in a normal way(whatever that means)cats don't like the normal. I'm in a house packed with people. All loons in their own right. Daren our host, just like Yul Brynner in the "Magnificent Seven", has spent a lifetime gathering only the craziest of crazies for who knows what reason. He gets us together for these parties to get us "used" to each other. I haven't figured out why just yet. Anyway, so I'm standing there in the middle of a fascinating conversation with Steven Hawking and George "The Animal" Steele. A flamenco guitarist is playing Malaguena. A three year old girl is tap dancing to the music and.... I think I'm getting side tracked again. Where was I? So I'm trying to befriend this cat who is curled up in this chair but I'm trying to do it in my mind. The cat's looking up at me and I'm just staring at it and saying to it "I love you. I would never hurt you,I'm not like these other people". This is all in my head, and it worked. Slowly I made my move and sat on the chair, inch by inch, until we were snuggling together. Hello! I'm a cat whisperer. The next thing you know I have the cat in a baby carriage(in my mind) and we are strolling down the street. All the other fathers have their cats in similar strollers. Smiling nods as we pass each other. Pantalones,the cats name, looks up at me and says that she's in the mood for a lollipop. She giggles a little and tells me she's joking. I think to myself today is the most wonderful day of my life. Filled with joy, I scoop up Pantalones and start running down the street. She looks up at me and starts shouting "Faster Daddy, Faster".....

More Hiking

More hiking this weekend. I dragged my Mom,nephew and children up yet another mountain this weekend. I haven't been on this one in like 10 years so I forgot how steep parts of it were. The trail was very wet and slippery and in some spots nearly vertical, not really but to a seven year old girl(and their Grandmother) it must have been pretty scary. We turned back about a half a mile from the summit, at the bottom of a particularly steep section with water running down it. To me it was a total success because the girls pushed themselves out of their comfort zone and had a good time doing it. Mostly because they were following the lead of their ten year old cousin, D.O.M. junior, who sprinted up the steep sections laughing all the way.

The African Sulcata as a Pet

I found Leonardo while driving in my work van about four years ago. I was stuck in a traffic jam and I got out of the van to see what was going on and noticed everyone was stopped because a large tortoise was walking down the middle of the street. At first I thought it was a snapping turtle because thats the only thing around here that could be that big. I got a better look at it and I knew it wasn't from these parts so I made my way through the crowd and picked up the beast and put him in the back of my van. I didn't know at the time that it was the third largest tortoise species on the planet. I called my wife and,excitedly, told her that I found a tortoise in the road and was bringing it home. She was picturing a box turtle when I told her, boy was she surprised. Anyway that was the beginning of our life with Leo the African Sulcata.

Mount Monadnock

Two seconds after I realized that I've gone as far as I could go installing the carpet in the new classroom downstairs, the argument that's been going on in my head for months picked up right where it left off. The inside off my skull is like a drunken Parliament meeting where someone exploded a gigantic killer bee bomb. Everyone running around screaming. Hookers, politicians, crazy relatives, serial killers, clowns, chickens, Howdy Doody, Jethro Bodine, all of "Them". And I'm screaming back at them, because they're all nuts. So ,thinking that I was going to be alone the rest of the day, I knew I wasn't going to "last" very long. So I came up with the idea of hiking up Mount Monadnock. A four mile fairly strenuous hike on an 80 degree day. Perfect for chasing the demons away. After eating a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese I got myself an iced coffee from Dunkins and drove the hour and a half to the 3000ft mountain. I pull up to the gate and the ranger gives me the whole "Hi, how are you, nice day isn't it" crap. He asks me if I've ever been here before and if I needed a map. I was like, "you too? I'm The F-ing D.O.M.!, just give me my ticket before I stab you." If I get lost, just look to the sky to see all the bodies I will be hurling off the mountain. Anyway, I put on my late Uncle George's hiking boots, slung my rucksack over me back and headed up the trail.

So things were going pretty good. I had to stop to take some aspirin to try and stop the baby headache that was forming and I had to go to the bathroom but the place was surrounded by a group of young "feel gooders" sitting at the picnic tables all "happy". No thanks. Probably pee my pants later anyway. OK. So my hiking strategy was to plod along when nobody was around and when I encountered anyone I would triple my speed past them, while holding my breathe so they wouldn't hear how heavy I was panting. What's weird is I didn't feel the effect of my hiking style until I stopped to catch my breathe after a particularly steep section(where a lot of people were resting, so I wasn't breathing out, only slowly in as I passed them, just so they would feel bad at how amazing I was). Anyway, at the top of this section, I stopped to take my first break and it felt like someone had shrink wrapped my face. Not only could I not breathe but my heart was beating so fast I couldn't recognize any individual beats. It was like a hummingbirds heart. A hummingbird that ate cheese at every meal,every day of its life. After letting my body calm down for about five minutes I set off again, repeating this process often. About two thirds of the way up my legs started to shake uncontrollably and I seriously thought that they would just buckle under me and stop working but they didn't and I got into a really good rhythm and made the summit in about and hour(I've done it in less than half that time in the distant past). Above treeline on Monadnock was absolutely beautiful. Very inspiring. Idiots lazing around being stupid on the summit kept me from spending any time up there. I did stop often on the way down to enjoy the fine view and have some snacks. At some point while making my way down the mountain I realized that there hadn't been any arguments in my head since I started the hike. I had found some peace. I even started talking and even encouraging the fellow hikers that I came across. I didn't hate them anymore. Not up there on the mountain anyway. I even waved (one finger) at the ranger on the way out. Then one more iced coffee for the road and back to stupid reality.

Vacation Day

Beautiful day hiking with the girls

The Wood Frog and Mother Nature's Son

The cold little guy sits in the road
Terrified!
Love is near
A warm glow overwhelms him
He bends down
Raining tears of goodness on his new friend
Picking up this little tan guy
An eternal bond is made
Placed in the tall grass
Words unspoken
They part ways
Sadness and Joy