Saturday, September 5, 2009
Mount Monadnock
Two seconds after I realized that I've gone as far as I could go installing the carpet in the new classroom downstairs, the argument that's been going on in my head for months picked up right where it left off. The inside off my skull is like a drunken Parliament meeting where someone exploded a gigantic killer bee bomb. Everyone running around screaming. Hookers, politicians, crazy relatives, serial killers, clowns, chickens, Howdy Doody, Jethro Bodine, all of "Them". And I'm screaming back at them, because they're all nuts. So ,thinking that I was going to be alone the rest of the day, I knew I wasn't going to "last" very long. So I came up with the idea of hiking up Mount Monadnock. A four mile fairly strenuous hike on an 80 degree day. Perfect for chasing the demons away. After eating a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese I got myself an iced coffee from Dunkins and drove the hour and a half to the 3000ft mountain. I pull up to the gate and the ranger gives me the whole "Hi, how are you, nice day isn't it" crap. He asks me if I've ever been here before and if I needed a map. I was like, "you too? I'm The F-ing D.O.M.!, just give me my ticket before I stab you." If I get lost, just look to the sky to see all the bodies I will be hurling off the mountain. Anyway, I put on my late Uncle George's hiking boots, slung my rucksack over me back and headed up the trail.
So things were going pretty good. I had to stop to take some aspirin to try and stop the baby headache that was forming and I had to go to the bathroom but the place was surrounded by a group of young "feel gooders" sitting at the picnic tables all "happy". No thanks. Probably pee my pants later anyway. OK. So my hiking strategy was to plod along when nobody was around and when I encountered anyone I would triple my speed past them, while holding my breathe so they wouldn't hear how heavy I was panting. What's weird is I didn't feel the effect of my hiking style until I stopped to catch my breathe after a particularly steep section(where a lot of people were resting, so I wasn't breathing out, only slowly in as I passed them, just so they would feel bad at how amazing I was). Anyway, at the top of this section, I stopped to take my first break and it felt like someone had shrink wrapped my face. Not only could I not breathe but my heart was beating so fast I couldn't recognize any individual beats. It was like a hummingbirds heart. A hummingbird that ate cheese at every meal,every day of its life. After letting my body calm down for about five minutes I set off again, repeating this process often. About two thirds of the way up my legs started to shake uncontrollably and I seriously thought that they would just buckle under me and stop working but they didn't and I got into a really good rhythm and made the summit in about and hour(I've done it in less than half that time in the distant past). Above treeline on Monadnock was absolutely beautiful. Very inspiring. Idiots lazing around being stupid on the summit kept me from spending any time up there. I did stop often on the way down to enjoy the fine view and have some snacks. At some point while making my way down the mountain I realized that there hadn't been any arguments in my head since I started the hike. I had found some peace. I even started talking and even encouraging the fellow hikers that I came across. I didn't hate them anymore. Not up there on the mountain anyway. I even waved (one finger) at the ranger on the way out. Then one more iced coffee for the road and back to stupid reality.
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