Saturday, May 15, 2010

"You should probably hire a mover"


Davina said this to me about moving the piano. This puzzed and angered me. Movers hire me! Anyway we get to the house and are shown the piano. We both instinctively grab an end and lift. Piece of cake I say, as soon as we unbolt this baby from the floor we're home free. But of course it wasn't bolted to the floor, it was just gravity. It was a piano shaped dead elephant. This thing was "poop in your pants" heavy, it had to weigh 1000 pounds. We destroyed almost every room in the house getting this beast out. At one point I had to stop Tom who was holding a bureau over his head and was about to toss it out an upstairs bedroom window, it was bad enough that I was rifling through their CDs and snapping the ones that displeased me. There was some disagreement over our time tested moving techniques and there was more than one shoving match, at one point Tom mistakenly took a swing at me and missed, pulverizing a grandfather clock in the hallway. It all worked out in the end though. We got the piano in the truck and Me Tom and Prudence with a big chunk of drywall still in her mouth dusted ourselves off and headed for home. No harm no foul.

Piano Day

This morning Prudence and I are going on a journey to Massachusetts to pick up a piano given to us by my crazy cousin. We enlisted the help of Tom Flynn. Yes THAT Tom Flynn. The Boston Firefighter who once benched 415 pounds 5 times. The one that the movie "The Terminator" is based on. The one who saved a kitten from a burning building the other day. Anyway, stayed tuned to find out how it goes. Oh, and we're not even gonna call the guy. The plan is we just show up and I smash Prudence(bulldog puppy from Hilter's Ass) through one of his closed windows, she wrecks a bunch of his shit before he even realizes what has just happened to his life. Tom boots in the door and grabs the piano and runs while I'm in his driveway keying his car.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Too Cool!







It didn't take long for someone to take up residence in the houses that the girls built.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mothers Day

So it's 6am, I've decided I let her "sleep in" long enough. Mrs D.O.M. said she wanted to go to breakfast early to beat the Mother's day rush. I jump on top of her while she's sleeping screaming "time to wake up, Happy Mother's day" over and over again. Weeeee!! "Happy Mothers day, let's go to breakfast!"....I Love you, you're so beautiful, let's eat", and of course, "come on get up, you whore, I'm hungry" She finally wakes up and acknowledges my existence and says to give her a few minutes to get ready. I get off of her and let her up. The sight of a guitar leaning against the wall immediately brings the joyous vision of me smashing it over the top of her head. Not in a mean way, but an overcome with joy way. I burst out laughing which puzzles her. I try to explain but it just makes things worse.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

"Medication Time"

Long day with the peeps. Being a Dad makes one "need" a drink. For me it's a tall glass of cold lemonade Vodka.

Totally Normal



Belly full of Tortoise Crap
The Blimp lays down and takes a nap