Prudence...

...trying to drag me across the room by my ear. I love this dog more than anyone in my whole entire family tree. She has catchers mitts for paws.

Bulldog puppy

Turns out we bought a baby gorilla, whose jaws are locked onto my ankle as I type this. How can a ten pound 9 week old puppy be pulling me off the couch? This may have been a mistake.

My Pie

my pie my pie
my fuckin pie
i inhaled a pecan and started to choke
i cook like a broad
it was delishious
Ill mash my face in it and start to cry
my pie my pie
my fuckin pie

My Famous Pecan Pie

I made my famous pecan pie this morning. It's made from a secret old family recipe, just like Nana's secret fudge recipe. Im sure it's of Micmac origin, and it's pronounced pee can, not pee caahhn. Unless you're Thurston Howell the third.

Pecan Pie

AN EGG!

My last, lonely, chicken finally laid an egg. It's been months. Every day I've been asking her "where are my eggs". Tonight when I went out to bring her dinner I found a lone egg in the corner. It totally made my day. I could see that my happiness was making her happy. We both basked in this glory for a moment, then I closed her up for the night. Walking back to the house with the tiny egg in my hand I shed a tear.

whatever

Way to much pressure. Every direction the walls are closing in on The D.O.M. Time is running out fast. No sunlight. No place to hide. Gatling Gun plans are flying off the shelf. Nobody gives me any feedback on them. Who could blame them? Complete gibberish really. Who am I kidding anyway? They're calling for my head in Kuala Lumpor.

Vodka Martini
Trying to learn dueling banjos
kids keep coming down here trying to communicate with The D.O.M.

The boredom has overtaken me.

Willy Wonka Drawing

Been working on this off and on since June

Christmas Tree Time

I broke down and put up the Christmas tree tonight. Whatever. It makes my stupid family happy. I got the lights going outside as well. I never took the lights off the spruce tree from last year. I just plugged it back in. Looks like someone decorated it from the back of a bucking bronco. Half the lights don't work and some are on the ground twisted in knots and chewed up from when I ran them over with the lawn mower this summer.

Sunday

Taking a break from drawing Heir Burgermeister. Just threw the kids outside to play. The egg that is me has multiple hairline cracks all over. The entire planet is laughing at me(or with me?).............I just added some more value to Heir Burgermeister's cheek bone. Not sure if that's how you spell his name. He won't mind. He must be dead by now. All of them. Dead. Oh. Where was I? How can someone's nose be perfectly round?

Cinnamon and The D.O.M.

Me and my last remaining bantam hen

Saturday Night: Out Dancing with Friends

The first thing I do is scan the crowd and pick out the most dangerous looking people. Then I visualize myself attacking them. For some reason this relaxes me. Then some freak will come into view and will become my study. I watch it's every move trying to get into it's mind. All this goes on while seated at a table full of my friends, laughing and having a grand old time. Of course my back is to my table of friends and my laughing worries them. If I lose sight of my freak I get hit with what feels like a taser full of rage. Like a gorilla that just broke off the head of the doll(or human baby)that he's been playing with. I turn and snap at Mrs D.O.M. "lets get the hell out of here". "No, I'm having fun" is her reply. I pick up a table and smash her to bits with it(in my mind),then run off to find my broken dolly.

Friday Night

Friday night and Im sitting on the couch enraged. Tremendous urge to shoot my television(even though its not on). Bored. Sherlock Holmes had heroin for his boredom. What do I have. Fucking ice cream. Now Mrs D.O.M. wants her spot on the couch. Fine! I'll go sit out in the woods.