Work in Progress

African Sulcata Escapes!

While we were at the Nature Festival our tortoise tore down one of the walls to his 16'x16' pen. After a brief panic we found him under a pine tree in our neighbor's yard. I guess its time for a new pen.

Sunday

More nonsense today. Can there be anything more stupid than the environment. Isn't there an Orange County Choppers marathon I should be watching.

Saturday

Concord Arts Market vs The D.O.M.

Big day tomorrow. Mrs D.O.M. will be selling her art at The Concord Arts Market in Concord New Hampshire. I'll be there doing what I do best,sitting quietly like a furious volcano wanting to smash to bits everything I see.

Today's Gonna be Awesome!

I get to go help Vicki move her studio for the fourth time in less than 2 years. First I have to go fix some idiots air conditioner right after I punch them in the face. Oh yeah, I'm in a fabulous mood.

South End Art Thing

Mrs D.O.M. will have a booth set up at The SouthEnd Art Market this weekend. Stop by and support some local artists (or maybe ask for a free fist sandwich).

I think I had a Stroke

I just got finished eating dinner( Sam Adams, fried green beans, fish and chips, a hot fudge sundae and a baby scoop of chocolate cake). As soon as I got out of the car I quickly grabbed the lawn mower because I wanted to get the front lawn mowed before it got dark. Somewhat frantically, I got it done in about a half an hour(it's about a half an acre). After I was finished is when I realized that I was having trouble breathing and I was dizzy and shaking. I knew something was wrong when the chickens strutted by and I didn't give chase. I just leaned against the shed and flipped them the bird. It took all I had just to put the mower back in the shed. How I put things away in my 12ft x 30 ft shed is I swing open the doors and just hurl(from the entrance) whatever I'm putting away as far back into the shed as possible. My method is quite maddening. To retrieve anything from the shed you have to climb thru this mountain of twisted wood, metal, kids toys, law mowers, various broken medieval weapons,piles of old chicken eggs and lots of angry hornets. Then you have to latch onto your prize and thrash yourself(way past the brink of madness) back to the front of the shed, and out into daylight again. Then you raise whatever item you have over your head and throw it at the chickens. Anyway. Oh, so I don't feel so good.

No Mas

Ya

I'm losing grip. I think I shall burn myself with an iron. It just sounds like what I need.

My "Dog"

Ok. I'm sitting in my yard and I notice a hawk circling overhead. Can I continue to call myself the D.O.M. if my first reaction is to run around looking for my dog and the shoo her back into the house so a bird wont scoop her up. What does it even mean that I allow my dog to continue to waste oxygen? What good are my aircraft carrier sized biceps? I think that doing yard work while Mr Bigglesworth frolics at my feet is turning me into a woman. This french vanilla coffee isn't helping any either.

Swine Flu

19 confirmed deaths in Mexico. 19! What a bunch of clowns. Anybody in the news media that even mentions Swine Flu should have their heads lobbed off. Give me a break. The world's reaction to this non-story is what's making me sick.

Saturday Eve

I'm sitting here listening to Okie From Muskogee, drinking ginger tea. Do I even belong on this planet? Who allowed me to be a Dad? Do I have to imagine myself clothes linning EVERYONE that I see when I'm in "Lowes"? I can't stop pretending to smoke, and pointing my fake cigarette at an imaginary foe, and yelling at him with Joe Pecci's voice. I broke my banjo strap today. My sister's dog Joshua is made out of concrete. Watched a bluejay enjoying the sunrise this morning while I enjoyed a cup of coffee on my front steps. Trying to find a foo dog image for my next tattoo. Was the death of Johnny Cash the final nail in the coffin for America?