Last Night

So I'm at the local Barnes and Noble bookstore in Manchester New Hampshire. Wait a minute, Vicki is making me enraged with her complaints about the Willie Nelson song that's playing. A song about a red headed stranger shooting a woman for touching his horse. She should take heed. Fine! OK no more Willie. Where was I? Anyway I head over to the section that has all the Monster Garage man among men stuff. The whole section is gone. Hold on, now my kids are asking me to go down the basement and find my old Frankenstein model for them. W.T.F. All right, so the whole "how to build a Sherman Tank" section is gone and it's replace by the newly expanded nature section. Now I know I'm the only one who knows this was done deliberately. Visibly enraged I frantically storm around the bookstore looking for the Man section. If you could view the bookstore from above it would have looked like everyone else in the store had been put in slow motion and I was speeding around,like Benny Hill, from section to section looking for some Jesse James books and occasionally ripping someones dress off or slapping some old guys bald head. After like five trips around the store I found myself at the help desk trying to calm myself down before I approached the communist behind the desk. I asked the hemp wearing freak where the welding and motorcycle books went. She led me to a tiny shelf in between the magazines and the kids section. She just snickered and said "we've downsized this section a bit". After smacking(in my head) her across her jib with Dennis Leary's "Why We Suck" book I stormed out of the store( after brousing around for a while in the nature section and then spending another half an hour looking for my wife, who was my ride).