Family Vacation

So I made it back from our family vacation last week. 95 degrees in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Thousands of kids and their stupid parents. Me trapped waiting in the sweltering lines with my family. I cant tell you how many times I pointed at other peoples children and tried to "will" fire out of my finger tips and ignite the little bastards. I did "accidentally" "stand" on an annoying little girls foot while waiting in line to get a Storyland sticker from Mother Goose. Then there was the riding around from one tourist trap to another with my "family". Every last ounce of my mental discipline, I mean every little morsel every last crumb of strength was needed to keep me from unbuckling my seat belt opening the passenger door and doing a Jacques Cousteau type backward roll out the passenger door(giving my peeps the finger on the way out) of our speeding car and happily tumbling down the highway only to be ground up under the merciful wheels of an eighteen wheeler. It's like tonight at bath time. Try being as nerved up as me and give two seven year old girls a bath, they either sit there laughing or crying at me, mocking me. I'd rather wash a pair of filthy hogs. At least I can punch and kick them into behaving. Sometimes I wish I had a pull chain hanging from the ceiling and when it just got too much for me too handle I just pull the chain and one of those ten ton weights from Monty Python comes crashing down on my head. "Wash your bums!" Why? ha, ha, ha, fuck you Dad" BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE SHIT COMES OUT!" So yes, I'm totally rejuvenated from my vacation,