Day 1, Saturday 3pm Cloudy 60s
We arrive at base camp after an uneventful journey up the highway, made pit stop for lottery tickets in Lincoln. After setting up base camp we went on multiple short hikes to explore surrounding area. Hour three found me staring into the fire in disbelief thinking to myself, I cant believe I have to pay for this madness. To camp actually costs money. Later on the two older females head off to, what else, play bingo. I'm trying to run a bleeping expedition and this is what I'm dealing with. Me and the two small lookalikes end up playing some nonsensical game with tiny playing cards.
Day 2 , Sunday 7 am, 46 degrees
Well, we made it through the first night. A little cold out this morning. Got the fire going with one match. The coffee tastes good. The rest of the expedition are still in the camper. The smallest female is in a foul mood(crying). The oldest female spilt the coffee because one of the other females doesn't know how to butter a bagel properly. The larger of the very small ones "seems" cheerful. The "dog", well the dog is disgusting. 8 am, one of the smallings is peeing in my bed as I write this, I am sure of it. Its getting warmer. The time is right, for an assault on the Basin. They are still in the camper! Their weakness sickens me.
Day 2 continued, 3pm ,partly sunny 60
Morale is at an all time low. All team members moping in camper. One of the small females has vomited all over my bed and most of my clothes. The sortie to the Basin with two of "them" was a success. We found the basin and returned with all of my wits. The dog shivers itself into a terrified frenzy at the slightest breeze. The oldest female/cook has stopped cooking since she ran out of leftover Chinese food. I make a smokey fire for spite. Little fat kid keeps walking by carrying rocks. At least he is doing something. I like the cut of his jib. Wish I had beer. Day 2 of our 5 day expedition and I can already feel the madness starting to creep in. Should I put all the wood on the fire now? The "camp" "ranger" keeps riding by on his golf cart, whats that all about? The camper is very quiet, they must be gearing up for a major push later on. If the vomiter feels better we may make another trek outside of base camp.
Sunday 4pm
Just got back from the trading post to see if they sold beer, no luck. I got myself an ice cream cone instead. I hide the wrapper because I know the second oldest female would have wanted one. From the nods and waves on the way to the trading post I get the feeling that the local population is finally starting to accept me. What is it that makes one "mad"? Would a madman eat an ice cream cone. Or does the act of eating an ice cream cone define one as a madman. I think someone is moving around in the camper. At last!
Monday morning 43 degrees clear skies
Team still in camper. The smaller lookalike has vomited on all my bedding and warm clothes. May have to abort expedition if she doesn't get better. I'm sitting by a small fire as I write this. Small because one of the miniatures is afraid of fire ( why she signed on to a wilderness expedition I will never know). Its more of a tiny scale model of a fire. Turns out the camp dog is actually some kind of monkey hybrid. Its sits loyally by my side ready to pounce on anything smaller than a gnat. Looks like a beautiful day in store for team Franconia. Hopefully morale will improve soon. Tempers flared last night between the two older females because the older one forgot to pack the graham crackers. The shorter of the two faced an almost life threatening decision of not being able to feed her smores addiction or venturing out to find some "friendly" natives who were willing to barter for some precious grahams. She did in fact procure the graham crackers and thus avoided what could have proved a disastrous split in the group. I think the older one still has a little hostility festering because while I was trying to start a fire to melt the crust of ice off of my bare feet (in my only clean tee shirt left) she yelled from under her mountain of blankets and pillows not to start a fire because I might scare the 2 dwarfs (who were asleep in the camper). Maybe its me.
Monday continued 11:42 am. 67 partly cloudy
The expedition has packed up and is headed back to civilization due to what appears to be altitude sickness in one of the lookalikes. Pick up remedy at local market. Almost lost my cool trying to procure an iced beverage from the locals. After having a sampling of their nuggets of chicken my mood took a turn for the better. Their fried potatoes would be a hit back in civilization. Monkey/dog afraid to urinate. All in all I would say the expedition was not a total failure. Find the "Land of Stories", we did not, nor did we make it to the fabled village of the Santa Clause, but we did find the "Basin". We pushed ourselves to the brink and beyond on this one.
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