Vacation: Day 1

Boy it's quiet. They're all upstairs, either sleeping or reading. Electrocuted myself at my sister's house earlier, like I've done hundreds of times before. Nothing else even comes close to that feeling. It actually makes me stronger. Anyway, today I found out that a mouse I was trying to make friends with passed away. Taylor found it in the chicken food bin, dead. I was planning on catching it. Shit, I'm starting to cry again(no I'M not, I never cry. Yes you do, you cried when Elvis died, and at the end of True Grit when the Big Duke shoots it out with Lucky Ned Pepper). Also made friends(real friends) with a spider that is setting up shop on my bulkhead stairs. Pretty big spider. You can tell a spider almost anything, great listeners, not like my human wife. I caught Leo, the giant tortoise, eating fox crap today. I think it's OK for them to eat such things. When he was done, I put him back in his pen and tossed him a zucchini from the garden. He devoured that as well. I'M a little worried about the upcoming vacation with the family. It's been only one day and I can feel myself turning. Lots of babbling in my head. They sent me to Pizza Hut to get food and I actually said out loud while driving, "Please God, let me get into a fistfight here." Actually I say that whenever I go to any place where there are people. You know what, that's not true. I love all living beings. And for that matter, it may be true, because swapping fist sandwiches with someone doesn't have to be about hate. Just a bit of unconventional fun. Besides I only pummel people in my head, for my own amusement. What is the point of all this, I know not. Might have something to do with the two hour nap I had today.