A day in the life of The D.O.M.

So I'm walking back into the building after I went out to my truck to get a tool I needed, the sun is shining, it's a beautiful day. As I'm walking, this thought pops into my head,out of nowhere, just like a pop-up on the computer, "Am I a modern day James West? And if so, who is my Artimus Gordon? Then I started wondering if Artimus knew that he wasnt the star, maybe he thought he was James West and the real James West was the lovable sidekick. Then I started thinking that I had more in common with Artimus than James, I mean of course I could shoot, fight, rope and ride (not horses, they scare me) like James, but I'm more of a quirky genius like Artimus. What's even more troubling is that I've always considered my self to be a white version of Link from the "Mod Squad". Fast forward a few hours and I'm in line at Dunkin Donuts, and all of a sudden(in my mind) I'm singing Yankee Doodle Dandy, and shuffling all around the store just like James Cagney, dancing up a storm. Outwardly I'm next in line, half asleep while this is going on. Then I began to wonder where all this craziness came from, and an America runs on Dunkins sign came into focus. So at least I'm not crazy, I found a logical link. So I order my iced coffee and while she is making it, the donuts come into focus and I scream at the top of my lungs (in my head) "DARE I GET A HONEY STICK! So she gives me the coffee and asks me if there will be anything else, and I meekly ask for a honey stick. She replies "just one?" . I reply (in my head). "Just one? No , give me the whole tray you whore". So I have my coffee and donut and I'm making my way out of the parking lot, I reach into the bag for the donut and the donut says (not sure if it was my head or the donut's head) "not now, wait until we get on the highway, stupid." So I pull my hand out of the bag, but I could only wait about thirty more seconds and I grabbed the donut. Just before I bit into it, the donut (?) told me that it hated me. I bit into it and just laughed.