Wednesday, February 17, 2010

"The Cliff"


I came across this picture recently and it triggered a long forgotten memory. Me and a few of my friends got into a cardboard refrigerator box at the top of "The Cliff" as it was called and launched ourselves over the top and tumbled all the way to the bottom. Totally unharmed. I think there were four of us and we must have been around ten years old. I can still remember hitting the cement beach wall at the bottom and laughing our asses off. I spent a good part of my life living on top of that hill. It was a great place to grow up. Another fun thing we would do was whenever we found an old tire we would let it roll down the steep hill in middle of the road, most likely killing some unknown person at the bottom or maybe crashing thru someones front door. We never knew what happened to them. We just let them go and moved on to the next thing. Like going back over to the edge of "The Cliff" and hurling melon sized boulders and screaming obscenities at the older teenagers who were drinking beer by a fire at the bottom. We wouldn't stop throwing the boulders until they started tearing up the cliff after us. Or getting my arm broken playing "kill the man with the ball" with about thirty of the neighborhood kids. Good times.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Little dogs vs real dogs

Getting this bulldog puppy has really shone a spotlight on how tremendusly defective our other dog is. I've lived with Sushi for four years now and it's taken getting another dog to show me how ridiculous this "creature" is.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Happy Anniversary

Sitting here today two years after boredom and mental illness gave me life, I literally want to pull my own head off. This racket never ends.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sunday Morning: Looking for Inspiration

I can see the sun peeking through my little bubble wrap covered porthole here in my basement. I'm trying to muster enough energy to join Vicki and Taylor on their trip to Lowell. Taylor has been seeking out the instruction of a reclusive old glass melding master that lives in the basement of Western Ave Studios and Vicki needs to get some painting done for next weeks "Open Studio". I just want to breathe some fresh air and maybe get some inspiration for whatever is coming next. Whatever that means?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Im Bleeding

5:45am peeps and poops with puppy
6:00am oatmeal with milk in microwave
6:20am coffee
8:30am go check on the chicken and get one egg
8:35am make 5 scrambled eggs with cheese
9:00am coffee
9:05am peeps and poops with puppy
10:00am "work" on drawing
10:30am nap with puppy chewing on my neck
11:30am wake up
11:31am peeps and poops with puppy
12:22pm arrive at Mom's for lunch and pick up kids
12:23pm forced to color in coloring book
12:50pm eat delishious sausage and potato dish(Mom picked out the onions for me)
1:30pm arrive home with kids
1:40pm work on drawing
2:00pm nap on couch with puppy biting my face and making me bleed
3:50pm woke up
3:51pm peeps and poops with puppy
4:00pm coffee
5:30pm delicious chicken pie for dinner
6:30pm cup of tea
6:31pm bring TV up from basement and into my bedroom for girls
6:40pm bring HUGE box of my old baseball card upstairs for girls
7:00pm head down into the bunker(kids classroom)to hide
7:28pm thinking about going up to get a glass of Il Bastardo

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Saturday Night

Down in "The Bunker" with a tall glass of lemon vodka. I'm thinking of pretendeing Im Elvis Presley and our Japanese Chin is my TV set. Probably shouldn't. Anyway. All is quiet.

Friday Night in my living room

Two dogs frantically barking at each other, two seven year old girls reading out loud at the same time two different books and Mrs D.O.M. and Taylor having their own little crazy conversation on the couch. Me, I'm standing up facing the wall supported only by my forehead which I'm trying to press into the sheet rock. What the fuck happened to my life. I glance over at the clock. Jackpot! It's 8 O clock. Time for bed. I sneak upstairs and climb into bed, bury myself under the blankets and cover my head with pillows. I make a little hole to breathe. Finally I feel safe. After about a minute the door opens. It's Sadie, she wants to read to me. So after 3 books and two games of operation and an endless puppet show(by this time Sophie has joined the fun) I give them the boot. That was 9:30. 2:30 am the puppy decides it needs to take a dump and starts its little monkey screaming ,"get me out of my crate",cry. I punch Vicki in the back and fall back asleep. Up at 5am to let Satan out. Thank God for sunrises and work. See ya bitches.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Dog


So the new puppy's eye almost fell out. Probably from hitting her head on the coffee table every five minutes. Or throwing herself off the couch every time she hears the other dog's collar jingle. Or sprinting toward the front steps and trying to leap up the entire flight of stairs, only to mash her face into the first step. (she still cant understand why she cant fly). Or from me strangling her and throwing her against the bathroom door(in my mind)for leaping up and hooking her tooth on my nostril for the tenth time. Anyway, almost six hundred dollars later and she's good as new. Good thing it wasn't the other dog, because if she got hurt I would just open the door and kick her into the woods.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sunday Night

So the English bulldog puppy is making life a living hell for our Japanese Chin. Sushi wants no part of Prudence and all Prudence wants to do is leap onto Sushi's back from the arm of the couch. Sushi does't understand this kind of playing. It's hilarious to watch. Prudence will be watching from the arm of the couch and Sushi will walk by ten feet away. When the puppy can't stand it any longer she leaps off the couch. Only she doesn't just jump down, she thinks she can leap on top of Sushi from any distance. She leaps outward, paws out stretched like Superman and falls way short usually landing on her head and bowling herself into the side of Sushi. She sounds like a sack of potatos when she lands. It can't be good for her. Its a good thirty inch drop.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Saturday Morning

The puppy is driving me nuts. Last night she had a "shit party" in her little kennel. The whole house stinks of it. She crapped all over her little bed then picked it up with her paws and pressed it thru the wire mesh door. Then she started whining at 5 am, pretending to be sad so I would come and get her out(knowing full well that she was covered with her own excrement). I pick her up and it's like "here have some diarreah for your neck". "Hurry up and take me outside in the freezing cold so I can stand around and not pee".

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Boring

I couldn't BE more bored. I wish I were spraying a quiet forest with large caliber bullets. I mean really giant bullets. Got Gatling? Sitting atop an elephant, smoking a pipe,sipping a glass of wine, shooting things that don't need to be shot. "see my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest". ANYWAY!

The Dog

The new puppy is driving everyone in the house nuts. We are being held hostage by this lunatic. Our other dog, a Japanese Chin is constantly being tackled. The kids have to walk around the house with the little demon latched onto their socks. Mrs D.O.M has to sleep with it on her neck. Yesterday she leaped up and latched onto my lip, which caused me to grab her and run outside and punt her into the side of my neighbors house(in my mind).

Hey Darren is it leapt or leaped?